I dun a fone call about slices

Dear Mr. Cooper,

I would like to sponsor you to the tune of 40 pence in support of your awareness-raising slice consumption. Perhaps you should contact television’s Lenny Henry, to see if the forthcoming Comic Relief event (is slice-eating an integral part of this telethon? I think it may be) could include a serious awareness segment between hilarious comedy sketches. Awareness is certainly as worthy a cause as ball-pools for Nigerians and rice for Aylesbury teenagers.

Bet of luck with your endeavours,
Alan Allen

“Like bread?” …brilliant. Long Graham… ha ha ha.

He handled that well.

“Why'd you go and do that?”