Pardon Me?

Well Hi everyone!

I created this video several years ago and it is my first. Despite all the production faults and my massive financial investment of around 50GBP this video is going viral on the cloud. I thought this thing was over? But maybe I'll get an award for the worlds worst/best video. I am carving a new way a natural style genre that takes things as they are...Thanks Robert for posting this...It is still a great song...

I hope this is real. If so, nice to meet you!I love the video. Great work.

Around 3min39sec an image flashes up and disappears quickly before the credits appear. What is that? A church? In a cheap, homemade music video, I would put it down to bad editing, but Maxime is clearly trying to tell us something here.

I hear that in the slightly extended version of this timeless Swaby video, there's a marvellous shot of her donning a Yellow jacket whilst picking up a frisbee.

I like it when she gestures towards the garden 2 mins in. There is no reason for her to do this!

best bit has to be the singing one entire semitone out of tune on the last note!

We have the same in French :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BP__EF9ess

Merci, but I kinda like that!

I never thought I'd hear a tune where I wish they'd used autotune.

The close up of the dead pan eyes, the emotive shot of poor Maxine reminiscing over a past lover, the fingernails that I am not 100% sure belong to those hands, the gentle jog by the river... I think I liked pretty much every second of it.

the part when she's running away by the pond

Has anyone ever heard the tapes of J-Lo un-autotuned. She wishes she had a voice like Swaby's, put it that way. Now, parents up and down the land should insist that their young children learn this song off by heart, to be "sang" after a particularly loud, prolonged, rumbling fart that ends in a squelch and the smell of sulphur while the vicar's round. Only this amount of "pardon mes" will do.

1.17, holding the photo-frame, I literally don't think I've ever loved something so very much.

Brilliant stuff this....
Click on the newly created fan club on Facebook
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=296368801...

Fave bit - 1:50 when you realise you are only half way through, so there must be about 4 verses left.

My favourite bit was when it ended. XD I'll be singing that for eternity!

i like the part where she chases the swans

Lyrics-wise, what is she actually on about? Why did she go if she didn't want to? What, exactly, does she want her pardonner to know? Why does she refer to him/her as "my child"? Why is help on the way and in what form? Is the only relation between the lyrics and video the fact that neither make any sense whatsoever?

OMG, that is really terrible. In retaliation, I curse you with Peter Nalitch "Guitar"!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOzkN8dHnjk

That's how we play it in Eastern Europe... See if you can it out of your head.

BTW, I blogged about your amazing Look Around You stuff recently:

http://unclecj.blogspot.com/2010/01/must-see-hi...

Thanks - and great link to that awful song!

I notice more and more things about this every time I watch it. There is too much gold dust in there. I just noticed the shot towards the end of GOATS! The most astonishing thing about this is that clearly someone has put a lot of time and effort into recording the song, filming the video and editing it together. And yet despite that it is complete and utter garbage.

So many mistakes, so many poor choices, a dreadful song, a terrible pair of outfits, inane lyrics, the shot of her walking down stairs, the off-key singing, the shots of her getting on and off a train through the driver's door (?) at the same station, the shot of goats (!), the shot of her looking at you through a window, the re-used shot of her looking the other way through the window at a red car, the terrible transitions, the dodgy dancing, the main backdrop of what looks like the mantelpiece of her front room (complete with an "I Love You" card - which holiday is that for?), the mysterious picture frame she holds, the hand gestures (for deaf people?), the out-of-continuity keyboard shots, the completely emotionless look on her face as she sings, the way she tilts her head forwards when she sings "pardon meeeee"...

I've watched it a few dozen times at this point, and I laugh even harder every time. How on earth did you get hold of this masterpiece of dreadfulness?

That was shit. Like...not even funny, just bad.

Let's remember this, and make it next year's Christmas number one!

1) The part where we see her trying to break into a run, from behind.
2) The close-up of the eyes.
3) Where she walks past a swan.
4) The close-up of the face, immediately followed by a jump cut to the plane landing.
5) The keyboard lesson video in the middle.

Why does she have a metal birds nest in her hair?

I like the way she catches the train.

I bet she took some sandwiches on her day in the park. She looks like a sandwich lady.

Yes, the close up of the eyes is def the best part!

Listen closely...does anyone else think this sounds like the wii background music???

this is so bad in so many ways...can't believe u made me watch it...

Could almost be by the Flaming Lips circa 1999.

I don't know what to say, that was something else.

I would like to see this chick and Jan Terry get into a music video fight. Maybe throw RehDogg in on it. The universe might collapse under the pure awesomeness of it all.

You've got to remember that this was pre 9/11. Things were different back then.

Clearly, Maxine is a muti-talented stewardess who provides a first class service on Virgin Trains (red jacket) and British Airways (blue jacket). Her boyfriend has complained bitterly about the fact that she is never around due to her endless travelling. This song is her reply to him.

Jussst, waitin' for tha train
why does my heart pain
I feeel so a-shame'd
I love doing a pray.

Just a contribution. x

this reminds me of something that would be on Tim and Eric

*holding sides laughing*
I love the way she strains to keep in tune at the end of the chorus! XD
This is a classic.

Jesus Christ on a bike......you do know this is crap, yeah ??
This is a joke, yes ? Which bits did I like, that would be none.

Um....

Well it's hard to beat that keyboard...

I have further observations: Lingering aftershot of the stairway handrail. Suspicious raffia. Closeup of window latticework. Let the train take the strain. Slight lunging forwards to emphasise "me" part of "pardon me". Much bosom-touching. Shiny shiny b*ttons. The bridge plus geese / generic birds. Unblinking psychotic eyes. That looks like a nice park. A red jacket (to complement the blue jacket). Canned scene transitions. Suspiciously plump lips. 70bpm too slow. Duck coming in to a skid landing.

I really liked the door shutting at the end. This to me signified closeure. I also found it very effective that the door had imperfections, reflecting the situation which the singer is in as she appeared to regret her decision to leave but appears to have little choice in the matter. I really felt for her.

this would 'mash up' with the eastenders theme quite well...probably "pardon meastenders" or "meast"

I love how her lack of expression denotes her insincerity in the words she's singing.. Also the transition mishap 1:00 into it, and how the next scene cuts in immediately after it with no transition, love it.

The random cuts to the piano which the person obviously isn't playing, and the random poorly framed close-up shots of her body, switching from dynamic and panning cameras to dead-still tripod shots

The random train at 3:10

Well, that's all I can spot that I like.

Bit cwunty to pick on her like this. Plainly an honest (if inept) attempt to make something. Can't all be as 'good' as you.

Blimey. Not really picking on her. Just find it quite funny.

I like the fact it isn't deinterlaced and the piano inserts..... who am i kidding? its all amazing

I'm most intrigued by the portrait on the mantle. And very impressed by the interpretive dance moves.

I just love how you can really see the feeling in her eyes... it's like they're windows to her soul.

That is hilarious!

I love the random shots of the planes landing at Heathrow... Unless I missed something obvious in the narrative of this work, I'm not sure why they are there. Great video.

The red marching-band outfit. Goes great with the gray fingernails.

I'm not sure what she was grabbing, right before she headed into the church, but it looked like some sort of weapon? I was so hopeful...

Pardon me, but I am confused. Is she a stewardess? Or an airline pilot, either way she has to go.

This looks like a commercial for a Funeral Home.

You're right!

Best Incubus cover ever!

I like "always looking 'round"...

She sounds like a duck that likes singing up really high!

I am so confused...

Ok.. after a bit of googling, I've found this: http://www.timothytituslimited.com/id3.html
Tim Constable and Patrick McNeill are two of the people responsible for this masterpiece.

Next, it seems Tim also does graphic design:
http://www.timothytituslimited.com/id4.html

Do you see those flyers? Maxine? Top quality hair care consultant? Could it be? Robert, do you need a haircut?

Good finds.

If you look carefully, you can discern from her face that she discreetly farts just before singing "Pardon me" each time.

She could make a fortune teaching women the Swaby Technique: how to get the Botox effect by learning to not move your facial muscles.

I didn't watch it.

What? No mention of the credits?

'Pardon Me sang (sic) by Maxine Swaby'

It seems Brightfacemedia once had a website - the Wayback machine has a copy (or has bits of a copy): http://web.archive.org/web/20030220100550/http:...

Most interesting is this text:

Brightface Media is celebrating over the showing of its first ever video. Featuring singer Maxine Swaby. Maxine was invited by the makers of Channel 4 programme Born Sloppy to sing live on the Born Sloppy set.

Coventry's newest pop artist Is presently working on a single to be released in early 2003.More details please contact us.

We want to hear from you!

wow, you're right, i will probably have this tune in my head for the rest of my life. I can't seem to stop myself from watching it! oh my goodness ..

Is she a flight attendant?

The appearance of random wildlife- the bizzare uniforms she wears- like an Avon lady on crack and the sheer amount of transport featured is just magical. I also adore the make up that seems to be battered into her face by a small blind child who has robbed a makeup bag and attacked her. I think she is awesome and should be number one- why didnt we choose her instead of rage against the machine?

Is she in the Salvation Navy? Wow. Well at least you can stop looking for this. Maybe you can lose it again?

THAT WAS PURE AWESOMNESS!

Wow...this is terrible. Why is she dressed like a flight attendant the whole time?

Oh you want a song you will NEVER get out of your head, then check out this little number. If you're not clapping on your second listen, you are not alive. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89nPVr85OC8

wow... this is Epic..

oh dear god. no.

I like the part where it ended. <Shudder>

why is she dressed like a stewardess?

kitsch value £0.00, too awful for...

ummm pardon me

... ... ... what?!

I just...I can't... I can't..

The best part is that it looked like it was edited with two VCRs connected to each other.

fav bit - the piano flourish with the fingers going the wrong wsy.

Ummm... The fingers are correct...?

love all the stalker photo moments.

Well... The worst part is from 0:00 to 3:50 xD

well her skin looked silky smooth?

I liked the beginning, before she started "singing".

Best bit was when the door shut at the end,hahaha. Seriously though, I am gonna watch this again, so bad it's good!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THE BEST SONG EVAR!!! <3

Did anyone else notice that she donned the uniform of an eighteenth century English soldier at the end of the video? She's a loyalist! This is a beautiful love song about a soldier going off to war.

I don't know what to say...
maybe Oh my gooodnesss

Thank you so much, the song is stuck in my head now. :)

Best part is when she goes "I see you" "when you fall" "standing tall" etc etc
LOL.

What about the brilliant Jan Terri or Mark Gormley. Jan Terri's godawful videos are at last 1.5 times worse

Hi yes those guys are great. You'll find them on my blog somewhere too. They rock!

Sweet Jesus it's brilliant! Nice finger nails, Maxine.

Why does she sound like Robin Cooper? Why is there a train? And why is she saying 'pardon me'? Does she have wind?

You're right. She does sound like me (aka RC)!

If I were to only hear Maxine Swaby sing this ballad I would have easily ignored this clip, but upon seeing her emotive facial expressions and literal use of her hands to explain the lyrics I was instantly drawn in to her genius. All I know is the next time I am dumped I want that conversation to open with "pardon me"!

i reckon a RATM style campaign for next years xmas no.1 would be quality!

The music sounds like someone cranking the handle of a jack-in-the-box. I keep waiting for a plastic clown to pop out of my monitor.

I loved this cover of Incubus' "Pardon Me" off of 1999's "Make Yourself."

I started to facebook this and decided I would spare my friends! just wow.

wow. just wow.

She is dressed and gesturing as though she's a flight stewardess - but then why is all the footage of trains, fields and someone's living room?

What is wrong with her head? and her fingernails?! I can't pardon that. Really.. can't pardon her fashion sense either. Why is there a random shot of Zebras towards the end!? This is too weird.

I like that the brightface media company just has a hotmail account.

The best bit is obviously the bizarre eyes close-up at 0:47!

Yeah I know what you mean...

Besides the big face in the picture frame on the mantle place, I LOVE her silver metal hair helmet.

I think its easy to take pot shots at other peoples artistic endeavours. Maxine Swaby has obviously worked hard on this project and she deserves our respect for turning up and giving it a go. Which is more than can be said for some so called 'individuals'.

Wow. The nautical suit? John Shuttleworth supporting on keyboard? The fact that the vocals seems to being replayed through an earphone speaker? I think it's the shot at the end of her staring poignantly at the Ford Focus parked outside her house.

is that Watford junction??? would explain its dredfulness!!! (yes born and bred in Watford and yes I left)!!!

2.18 when she is try to walk like she isn't drunk.

It is the pinnacle of human achievement.

Holy crap! I really liked the bit at 3:51

0:48 Jumbo Jet Cutaway.
1:00 Nice transition up to the point where she touches her nipples.
2:08 "All the single ladies..."
2:14 Powerful.
2:54 Dark.

Best bits:
1. Terrifying close-up of eyes at 0:46
2. Constant use of aircraft imagery throughout (a METAHPOR perhaps?)
3. Shortest keyboard solo ever at 1:43
4. Walking around public spaces including an outdoor park and churchyard
5. Actually walking THROUGH the lake at 2:40

Why was the British radio not all over this back in 2001? Maxine Swaby (!) robbed yet again.

Well, the shot of the deer is hard to beat. Also of course that this song has been "sang". Priceless.

I like that the colour is wrong in a different way in every single shot. That takes effort.

Has to be the pilot's uniform, hanging round a train station?!

She makes me think of Anna Nicole Smith.
I'm gonna go find some real music and see if I can fix the damage you have wrought.

I like the airpilot-esque uniform.The music I had to turn down

Those were some sweet dance moves in the park. Beyonce? Who needs her...

Soap on a rope! That's ridiculous... and yet horribly catchy. You, sir, have created a monster.

PMSL!!! Her voice cuts through glass.

it looks like a particularly badly-filmed and edited report on "Meridian Tonight"

At 2:01 when it dissolves to a shot of her holding a picture frame, but cuts off just before you can clearly see what it is.

0:47 that's one hell of a close up.

I'll never get those minutes back!

Tim and Eric have it down to a T.
I like how polite it is. Also, the hair. And the goats. And the costumes. Actually, everything.

funniest thing ever. and not just on the internet. outstanding.

AMAZING! Utterly amazing. Creates the kind of atmosphere only experienced when watching an odd programme/film in the dark of your bedroom while Mum and Dad are out and you're hovering over the standby button in case they spot the TV light flickering above the curtain when they drive back down the road. I am 28 - this is just a memory.

I think BRIGHTFACEMEDIA@hotmail.com should make a video of you playing guitar. Perhaps an instrumental version of Pardon Me, note for confusing note.

Pardon Glee

Oh... My... Who IS she looking at in that picture? I'd like to think it's me.. No Maxine, don't look back.. If our love is true you'll come back to me.. You'll come back.

Metal hair. Trains. Planes. Rivers. Nails (long). Airline uniform. Ornaments. Pictures (of loved ones). A tree. Cuddly toy. Clouds. Flowers. Living room. Scary eyes. Living room ceiling (fake beams). Bontempi? Hand gestures. Church. God/Tarvu. One slightly flat note. Good.

Christ. Inept drum fill at around 1:01 is my favourite bit so far...

So, let me see if I've got this right. She's an apologising airline pilot, that lives in her parent's house, likes country walks, swans and trains?

It's great that it's made by "Brightface Media" and she has a bright orange face.

I rather appreciate the incorrect note in the accompaniment as it plays the final three chords. The thought of an entire church congregation singing 'pardon me,' amuses me greatly. O yes, the complex interpretative dance is also delightful. Where did you find this? Why??

The zoom in on the eyes. The emotionless face throughout. The staring at the photo. The catchy dance moves. The leaning against the tree... Everything. I am in stitches.

Brilliant music production. Did she record her vocals down the phone line? She also hits the high notes in the "I just want you to know" line extremely accurately.

I'm confused by her taking a train and a flight though as she has no luggage with her. Is she an air stewardess and was just going to work? That would probably explain the uniform, but not the relevance to the lyrics.

My favourite bit has to be around 2'25" where she appears to be chasing swans out of her local park by running at them. Or perhaps she was herding them into the church that it cuts to next.

Godammit Robert, I was just going out for a swim. I'll be here for hours now watching that.

I like the:

running away from swans,
Tulips waving in the breeze,
staring out the window at a burgundy saloon,
the random appearance of deer,
quick nod to religion

oh all of it

The close up of the eyes....