The Timewaster PhonecallsI've been doing lots of silly phone calls. You can hear them all here. Just scroll down for more...

Apricots and Peaches

by Robert Popper on January 6, 2011 · 6 comments

Many years ago I was over at (non-intentional name drop) Matt Lucas’ house, and we were doing some silly phone calls. We tuned into local radio station, LBC, and heard a ‘professional dream analyst’ taking calls. So I decided to phone in – as Carole from Alexandra Palace – with a completely un-analysable dream…

PS – If you listen carefully, at around 1:40 you can hear Matt pretending to be my rather bad-tempered husband.
PPS – ‘Geography and animals’.

Baal’s song for Christmas

by Robert Popper on December 19, 2010 · 11 comments

I was basically snowed in last night, so what better way of spending the evening than a phone call to BBC Radio Shropshire? Here I am – as Baal – being slightly mental. During the call I composed a little Christmas ditty live on air. I’ve added the ‘lyrics’ for you…

Poor blackbirds.

Baby Dogs

by Robert Popper on November 14, 2010 · 4 comments

Sorry I’ve been so quiet here these past few weeks – I’ve been busy filming Friday Night Dinner. We’ve got six days left of shooting, and so far it’s been fun, fun, fun. Anyway, I finally had a full weekend off, and had a sudden urge to call Harrods’ Pets Department…

What a polite lady. Surely she should be promoted.

How much does Bruges weigh?

by Robert Popper on July 16, 2010 · 4 comments

I really wanted to know, so I (well, Robin Cooper) called up the ever helpful, ever friendly Bruges Tourist Board. In Bruges.

It must be about a million tons, surely….?

Robin Cooper calls the Grand Hotel, Brighton

by Robert Popper on July 6, 2010 · 4 comments

I, well, Robin Cooper, did a silly phone call to the Grand Hotel in Brighton.

Hats off to the charming and professional member of staff at the hotel. I do send my apologies.

Robin Cooper and the Hung Parliament

by Robert Popper on May 10, 2010 · 8 comments

Amidst all this political uncertainty, I (well, Robin Cooper) decided to sort things out once and for all…

The Warranty Woman

by Robert Popper on May 9, 2010 · 9 comments

I did this some time ago when I kept getting cold callers. I just couldn’t resist recording our conversations. Sorry it sounds like it’s been recorded on a rusty tin of tomatoes…

Robin Cooper’s Communication Problems

by Robert Popper on May 7, 2010 · 20 comments

Another phone call: the host to this foreign language show seemed so friendly and kind. I just loved our complete ‘non conversation’, and the fact that somehow so much seemed to be understood by both of us despite all the long pauses. He also has just about the best stare I have ever seen…

I have to admit I have always enjoyed the phrase, ‘My only friend’…

Here is is on Boing Boing, with some translation kindly offered.

The Swan and the Rat

by Robert Popper on April 17, 2010 · 7 comments

Some of you may know this call, but it’s the first time I’ve stuck it on my site. If you’re a swan and a rat lover, then this may well be the prank phone call for you…

By the way, that was Peter Serafinowicz playing ‘the sister’. We did have a giggle that day.

I wrote a piece for Saturday’s Guardian about my (definite non) obsession with making these calls. Feel free to peruse.

Happy 200th episode, South Park

by Robert Popper on April 14, 2010 · 2 comments

Hoorah!